Theres nothing romantic about being scammed.
Know the pitfalls of a compromised relationship in view of finances even before you say ‘I do’. Check-out these no-nonsense list below:
1. DO NOT be in a relationship with someone who has no source of income. Having both of you with income is already hard enough. How much harder could it be if one of you is in anyway not contributing to the expenses. If you are married, this can cause a lot of pressure and misunderstanding in the marriage. If you are still in the boyfriend-girlfriend stage, this is not romantic (sorry!) as one of you do not have enough resources to meet the other’s needs.
2. DO NOT buy gifts. Unless his/her love language is receiving gifts. Many fall into a trap were both parties were left unappreciated all just because of not hitting the right spot when it comes to showing the right way of loving. Occasional gifts won’t hurt though. Giving occasional gifts to our loved ones is a kind of gesture that means we appreciate them and we are happy to celebrate with them in their milestones.
3. DO NOT be with someone who has no financial plans or any knowledge about his/her finances. Financial planning serves as a guide to meet one’s goal in life. It helps the person to take control of his/her money and investments. Without financial planning, it is difficult to save more money, enjoy a better standard of living and have emergency funds. If you have a dream of living a better life someday, cut ties with someone who is not moving along in that direction as early as possible!
4. DO NOT be with someone who has huge debts. People who falls into this cycle looks no different to the rest of us. Most of the time, they are the ones who earn big, dress well, parties all the time, travel a lot and look happy. The problem with bad debtors is that they struggle to stop the cycle and you might get caught in the whirlpool. They have no sense how bad the situation is because they fail to understand how much they owe, the interests and penalties they have to pay in the long run. If you do get married in the future, his/her debts will become yours too!
5. DO NOT be with someone who has no savings. Savings is a means of protection in case of emergencies. A partner who has no savings is a burden (in the future) not only financially but emotionally as well. There are big purchases/payments if you want to level up the relationship. No matter how great your love is, without savings there will be no sparkling engagement ring, dream wedding and bouncing babies. Generally, a person with no savings is just not ready to enter a relationship. A mature relationship requires both emotional and financial stability. Just ask any married couple out there *wink*.
6. DO NOT invest your time, money and resources if you are not sure of that person. Avoid unnecessary pains and even debts by being financially and emotionally discerning. Save or invest your money rather than spend it on gifts, travel and dining out with someone whom you doesn’t even see as part of your future. This also goes for friends whom you only see occasionally or those who didn’t really knew you well with at least your struggles and your hearts desires.
7. DO NOT be with someone who has no insurance. Married people knows the importance of having an insurance either before marriage or early in the marriage. As you build your family, there are huge purchases/payments that are inevitable such as house mortgage, car loan, household appliances and even babies. When one of you suddenly dies, a reality which will happen to everyone of us in the future, only one spouse is left behind to fulfill all the financial responsibilities. Dealing with the grief of the loss of a spouse is heart wrenching, but dealing with both emotional and financial loss is just traumatic.
8. DO NOT be with someone who has bad spending habits. There are many bad habits we see and even practice ourselves in our daily lives. Among the worst kind is with regards to our finances. Just like other bad habits, the effects of bad spending is not immediate. However, later on they will realize they were already covered in debt, high interest from late payments, financial stress, lack of savings and no emergency funds. By the way, habit is something that you do often or regularly. Just like other bad characteristics, it will be difficult to change one day. Be wise and carefully choose someone who is responsible with their money now or you will suffer both later.
9. DO NOT be a guarantor of debt for that someone. Unless you are married, of course. First, if you are not yet married, there is no guarantee that you will end up together. Feelings and circumstances may change along the way. Second, there is no guarantee that he/she will pay you since you are not bound together legally. The danger of being a guarantor is that if the borrower can’t keep up with the payments, you will have to make them instead. If you are unable to make the repayments, you could end up loosing your own possessions for collateral. You will end up with a broken heart and a bad debt – not a great combo.
10. DO NOT be with someone who do not practice tithing. Tithing is giving a tenth of your earnings to the church. It is not the last ten percent but the first fruit of your earnings. It is a spiritual discipline, a form of worship, biblical obligation and a representation of good stewardship. By tithing, you acknowledge that all things belongs to the Lord and that you should always give back to him your first fruit as a proof of your faithfulness and thanksgiving. In return, God promises blessings after blessings. Blessings that are not only meant financially but blessings that are more that you could ever fathom. Be with someone who is not only financially good but someone who believes in God and obeys his commands.
If you are committed to a relationship, you and your partner owe each other a honest conversation about each other’s current financial status, goals, habits and plans.
Good communication even before tying the knot is a good way to manage the expectations when it comes to money matters. If debt is an issue, there are various strategies to pay off debt and start anew with your financial journey.
IMPORTANT NOTE: The rates, contact details and other information indicated in this post are accurate from the time of writing but may change without trishaspan.com’s notice.
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