According to Oxford Languages, principle is a fundamental truth that serves as the foundation for belief or reasoning.
So why is principle important in life and especially in marriage? Guiding principles aids us to stay focus on what is important. It affects our values and how we look things in perspective. In marriage, principle helps us to fortify the union and enjoy each other in every season.
Most people agree that marriage and finances are often not the best combination. So, it is extremely important for married couples to establish marriage and and financial principles early on.
1. Biblical Principles
There is no marriage manual better than the bible. The words written sometime 2,000 years ago are still true and relevant today.
- Marriage is a divine institution established by God Almighty.
- Marriage is the union of a man and a woman to become one flesh.
- The husband and wife have different functions. Wife – helper. Husband – leader and has authority over his family including his wife.
- Sexual relationship outside of marriage is not part of God’s design and is condemned.
- Wife: Honor and submit to your husband’s authority. Husband: Love your wife.
2. Practical Tips
I hear several advices regarding marriage from time to time. I can honestly say that there are actually good advices to a lasting and happy marriage. There are also a few bad ones we sometimes hear from our relatives, friends, neighbor or even from a random girl from the spa. It’s good to listen though, some are encouraging while others are colored with bitter experiences. Here are some of the principles that people from a successful marriage have gladly shared with us:
- Take care of your husband or somebody else will.
- Do not put yourself in a situation where you have to be alone with the opposite sex. Example: dinner, meeting, counseling, etc.
- No opposite sex allowed to sit on the car’s front seat except for immediate family members. Same goes with the motorcycle.
- Set boundaries that will protect you from immortality in work environment and even with friends.
3. Love Language
According to Dr. Chapman, there are five primary love languages to express and receive love;
- words of affirmation
- quality time
- receiving gifts
- acts of service
- physical touch
Sometimes, what people express and how they want to receive love are totally different. Observe how your spouse expresses love to others and that is his way of showing or expressing love. Observe what your spouse often requests from you and that is how they want to receive love from others.
Knowing your spouse’s and even your kids‘ love language makes it easy to communicate to them what is important to meet their emotional needs.
Both my husband and I have the same love language – quality time. But I tell him a little chocolate and flowers once in a while wouldn’t hurt 🙂
Have you ever heard of the marriage triangle? It’s basically a relationship between a husband, wife and God. The idea is that as both husband and wife grow in their relationship with God, they also grow closer to each other.
In marriage there is a certain order in the household. God is first, then spouse, then kids. Other wives prioritize their kids thinking that their husband can take care of themselves. Don’t let children take over the marriage. Letting them know that your relationship with your spouse comes before your relationship with them makes them feel loved and secure.
5. Do Things Together
Routines are important especially in marriage. Do things that will allow you to be closer together. Stick to a routine or create a fun new one!
Embark on a new adventure, travel, course or hobby.
My husband and I used to eat breakfast together while watching youtube. When I transitioned to work from home, I wasn’t able to eat breakfast with him because I would wake up an hour after he had left. I missed our routine so much so I decided, every Friday, to wake up an hour early so we can have breakfast together.
6. Practice 10% Tithing
I already practiced tithing even before I got married. Now that we are married, we do this spiritual discipline as a couple. We set aside 10% of our combined gross income every month for the Lord as what the bible commanded us to do.
God owns everything and we are only stewards of his possession. It is right to give back to God. Remember, obedience precedes blessings.
7. 10% Savings
For married couples, handling money and spending habits are extremely sensitive issues. It can make or break a marriage.
Another disciple that we practice in our marriage is to set a side a portion of our income for savings. Each of us has different reasons to save. Saving money can be used for emergency fund, purchases and wealth building.
8. Life Insurance
According to Forbes, life insurance is a contract between you and an insurance company. Essentially, in exchange for your premium payments, the insurance company will pay a lump sum known as a death benefit to your beneficiaries after your death.
Both my husband and I purchased life insurance years before we met and got married. Now that we have so many payables and so much dreams for the future, having to face them all alone when suddenly one of us dies is painful. Although, that is a reality that all of us will face someday, having a life insurance somehow eases the financial aspect of living alone.
9. Side Hustle
Marriage comes with responsibility and bills. What we spend now may not be the same when kids and mortgage comes in a few years. Who knows, our income might only be good but not convenient enough to live the life we dreamt someday.
One way that we saw to compensate the funds for our additional needs is to look for another source of income – one of the basic principle of wealth building. If you study deeper into financial matters, it doesn’t stop with savings. We need to invest. Our money must work for us.
How I wish I can put value on piece of mind.
The more someone knows about us, the more power they can have over us.
I used to broadcast and post my life openly on social media from college until before marriage. I wasn’t aware then that I was putting myself subject to judgment. I longed for validation and looked for acceptance in the wrong places.
Luckily, I matured and decided to never again share every detail of my life unless it’s a milestone. I decided I will not make my husband and future kids subject to judgment of other people by protecting the privacy of our family.
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